Are Single Mothers Just Better Than Everyone Else? The Answer Is Yes.
It should go without saying that demonizing women that are doing twice the work with half the resources is both illogical and immoral. And it should go without saying that single mothers are the hardest working, least respected, overburdened, and underpaid warrior creatrixes on this planet. But since it doesn’t…
People Agree: There are a lot of single mothers.
According to the Single Mother Guide there are approximately 11.3 million single parent families in the US. 81.5%, or roughly 9.2 million, are headed by a single mom. 40% of children were born to single mothers, and nearly 25% of children under the age of 18 are being raised without a dad.
People Agree: Single mothers are poor.
In general, according to 2018 US Census Data, poverty hits Native Americans the hardest, with over one-quarter (25%) of the Indigenous living in poverty. Just over one in five members (21%) of the Black community are impoverished and just under one-fifth (18%) of Latinos live under the poverty line. The white poverty rate is 10 %.
And as staggering as these numbers are, single mothers are forced to live in poverty are roughly twice the rate as everyone else in their respective communities.
The poverty rate for single-mother families in 2017 was 34%, which is close to three times the national poverty rate and nearly six times more than the poverty rate of married couples. At 29 %, White single mothers experience rates of poverty that are dramatically higher than the 12 % national average, but still fare better than their counterparts of color.
The highest rates of poverty are experienced by Indigenous single mothers at 42 %. 41 % of Latino and 37% of Black single mothers are also forced into poverty. 60 % of homeless families are headed by single mothers, and overall 21 % of the homeless population is represented by single women. 49% of those homeless single mothers are Black.
People Often Mistakenly Believe:
1. Single mothers make bad decisions, like having sex out of wedlock
The number of children born to parents that aren’t married to each other is close to the number of children born to married parents. Having sex out of wedlock isn’t so much a deciding factor — but having sex with a man that with fails to marry, stay married, or stay alive is. For example, 50% of single mothers were married at one point, and became divorced, separated or widowed.
2. Single mothers don’t work hard enough.
5 out of 6 single mothers have completed high school, and one-third have a college degree. There are more single mothers working outside of the home than inside the home, and at any given time two-thirds of single mothers are actively employed. They are just underemployed and poorly paid.
Only half of single mothers were able to overcome the obstacles to full time employment. And for those that are able to find full or part time employment, they make only 79 cents to the dollar for the same job a man does. Black single mothers make even less at 64 cents on the dollar, while single mothers of Latino descent are only payed 56 cents for ever dollar a man makes.
And among those who were laid off or looking for work, only 22% received unemployment benefits.
It’s not that single mothers don’t work hard enough. Being a single mom is more than a full time job in and of itself. Not only do they not get paid for that, but they are expected to pay someone else to care for their children. And when they do get paid for their labor, they aren’t paid enough.
3. Single mothers can’t budget.
Single mothers quite literally do the same amount of work as married couples, with less than half the income. The median annual income for a single mother led household in 2017 was approximately $41,700. For a married couple, the median income is over $90,000.
The Millenial Generation is being forced to spend 45% of their income on rent, while Generation X spends 41%. The cost of child care averages over 40% of the state median income for a single mom. And for those who are counting, that leaves only 15% of an already sparse income to spend on food, electricity, cable, internet, cell phone coverage, and any other basic utilities. That doesn’t even cover clothes, school supplies, cell phone coverage, and transportation let alone technology like computers and printers, entertainment, birthdays, holidays, or unforeseen accidents.
Far from being failures at budgeting, single mothers have to perform feats of magic and impossibility just to survive from day to day and month to month.
4. Single mothers leech off of men and the system
Only one third of single mothers received any child support, and the average amount received was only about $430 per month. Only 12% receive SNAP benefits. Far from feeding off of a mythical governmental cash cow, single mothers are afforded less opportunities to work, they are paid less, they have to spend more, and they do not have access to sufficient social services to cover the gap between the cost of living and payment for labor.
5. Single mothers need to be taught a lesson
We can all learn something from single mothers. Far from taking a stance that they should be punished for raising their children with no help, they should be praised and supported. Not only should universal free childcare be offered to all parents, but mothers that choose to raise their children until they attend school should be offered a check for the same amount that they would have to pay a childcare provider to take care of their children. This childcare should also be offered during the days and the evenings to expand the abilities for single mothers to both work and\or attend school. Laws should be passed and enforced to ensure that single mothers are afforded equal pay. Food, housing, and welfare should be increased to cover the actual cost of living and not just a small portion. And these are just a few of the steps that should be take to support single women as they raise the next generation of Americans.
We can’t do that, though, until we see single mothers as the heroes they are. And not the demons American mythology tells us they should be.
